


The Nights

by Phoenix_Sparrow



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 04:44:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13159551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Sparrow/pseuds/Phoenix_Sparrow
Summary: Song fic based on Avicii's song, The Nights. Set after the events of 'Eos', includes spoilers of the ending. Once the Eos mission is over, Alan finds himself struggling and in need of some reassurances.





	The Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Not entirely sure why I didn't upload this one sooner, but it was the first story I wrote in over 8 years, first uploaded online a month after the first episode of TAG was aired, and naturally, the lyrics used aren't mine, they're included for anyone who doesn't know the nature of the song. The first time I heard it I straight away thought this is something Jeff has told the boys

Alan sat on board Thunderbird Three, staring out the portal as he watched the mooring claw retract away from him.  A sudden sense of relief washed over him and he let out a deep sigh.

Through the still open comm. channel, he could hear John talking to Eos.

" _I am relinquishing control of the ship's systems to you,_ " the AI's voice said.

" _I don't want control, Eos, I want a partner.  I want a friend._ "

A smile stole across Alan's face at the sound of his brother making this declaration.  He knew that John meant it, as well.  He'd put his life into the figurative hands of Eos by offering to be blown out of the airlock in an attempt to prove that he wasn't out to destroy her.  Now, he was trying to prove that he wanted her with him.

" _For the first time since I gained sentience, I feel a lack of urgency,_ " Eos said, her voice sounding full of wonder.

" _It's called ‘relief',_ " John replied.  " _And believe me, Eos, I feel it, too._ "

The youngest Tracy could hear the tension he'd previously heard in John's voice lifting and his own ‘lack of urgency' increased.  He started tapping controls around him, running quick diagnostics to make sure there wasn't too much damage from the fight with the mooring claw and bouncing off of the over-rotating gravity ring of Thunderbird Five while trying to steady the spin.

" _Stay up here, with me,_ " he heard John say as he continued his checks.  " _I'll keep you safe and show you how amazing and how good the world can be._ "

" _I'd like that, John,_ " Eos responded.

Alan smiled again, remembering a comment he'd made to John only a few days ago.  ‘ _Don't you ever get lonely up there?_ ' At least now, John would have someone with him.

" _I'm glad,_ " John replied.  " _Now, how about that bagel?_ "

" _With pleasure,_ " Eos replied.

" _Ow!_ " He heard John yelp and looked at the intercom with a worried frown.  " _Oh, now you have a sense of humour!_ "

Alan relaxed again, hearing the laughter in his brother's voice and the pinging of the food dispenser.  He could just picture what was happening.  " _Hey! Stop!_ " John laughed and Alan was even more surprised to hear Eos laughing, too.

With another sigh, he set the controls to turn away from Thunderbird Five, no longer worried for John's safety.  He trusted his brother's judgement enough to know that if he felt at ease enough to play, then he would be absolutely fine.

" _Now, cut it out!_ " he called as Alan started to pull away from the space station.  He glanced over at it as he began to depart, allowing a chuckle when he heard his brother again.

" _Okay, this isn't funny anymore,_ " he said, even though he still sounded amused while Eos laughed again.  " _That one had cream cheese in it!_ "

Alan rolled his eyes and directed his ‘Bird back towards Earth.

 

The journey back wasn't particularly long, but long enough for Alan to have time to think.  And having time to think was never good.  It meant that his mind went back to things he didn't want to dwell on.  Like his dad.

"Where are you?" he muttered to himself as he got closer to the earth's atmosphere.  "I know you're down there somewhere, but where?"

He sighed once again, shaking his head and returned his attention to the controls.  He'd need to be paying attention as he passed through the thermosphere.

He set his controls to target Tracy Island once through the mesosphere and into the stratosphere.  "Thunderbird Three to base, coming in on final approach."

" _Welcome home, Thunderbird Three,_ " came the voice of his grandmother.

He tilted his head, surprised that it wasn't one of his brothers answering the call, but then remembered what John had said earlier about a backlog of unanswered distress calls.  How could he have forgotten that? He'd pretty much shot down his attempt at humour.  ‘ _Or as we Tracy's like to call it: Tuesday._ '

"Hey, Grandma," he said.  "Are the others not back yet?"

" _No, they're still out._ "

"Alright.  Beginning landing procedures."

" _FAB,_ " Grandma Tracy said.

 

Alan leaned back against the head rest, exhaling slowly as the engines powered down, his mind drifting back to troubled thoughts again.  He kept seeing John as he'd found him, drifting almost lifelessly in space.  If he'd been a few minutes later…

Alan shuddered.  "No, I was in time.  He was fine."  He scrubbed his gloved hands across his face and tilted his head from side to side to try and relieve some of the tension in his neck.

He shook his head.  "That was far too close," he said to himself as he activated the controls to take him back up to the living space.

 

Grandma Tracy was sat at her son's desk, still trying to coordinate the rescue efforts of her grandsons when Alan reappeared from the silo on the leather chair.

She cast a quick glance at the holographic image, decided it would manage without her, then went over to Alan.  She drew him into a hug which he didn't try and pull away from.

She leaned back and looked at him, her hands on his shoulders.  She smiled at him and gently pushed him towards the sofa behind him until he sat down, then took a seat next to him.  "Firstly, are you alright, Alan?"

Alan looked at her, surprised.  He'd expected to hear questions about John.  "Yeah, I guess so," he said, shrugging.

"Are you sure?"

Alan nodded.  Right at that moment, as much as he had appreciated the embrace from his grandma, he just wanted to get away from all things International Rescue.  Sitting in the lounge was about as close as he could get with their uniformed portraits, the holographic images floating around and the hidden entrances all round the room.

Grandma knew he was holding back, but also knew that he needed some space.  "Alright.  How was John when you left?"

Alan smiled slightly.  "He seemed fine.  He was already back in Five obviously, so I didn't actually see him, but I could hear him over the intercom."

"So could I.  Seems he's made a friend."

"Yeah," Alan said, distractedly.  "Let's hope it'll be helpful."

The older woman nodded and patted him on the shoulder as she stood up again.

Alan watched her walk over to his father's desk and his shoulders slumped.  It was wrong, just so wrong to not see his dad sat doing what his grandmother was currently doing.  It should have been him sat there!

Without another word, Alan got up and left the room, heading outside.

 

Scott arrived back in the lounge and walked over to the closest sofa, dropping into it with his arms draped across the back.  "Can I stop and take a breath now?" he asked, looking over at his grandmother.

The image of the world had been shut down but she was still sat at Jeff's desk, looking at the few items that were scattered on the top.  There was a slight smile on her lips and she was humming.

"Grandma?" Scott asked, getting up and approaching her.

"Sorry, Scott, I was miles away.  I was just thinking about your father."

Scott nodded.  "Understandable," he said.  "We came close to losing someone else today."

Grandma Tracy looked up at him.  "But we didn't.  Let's not dwell on the negatives when you've achieved so many positives today.  I heard your rescue went well."

"There were casualties, but no fatalities," Scott said, sitting on the edge of the desk and crossing his arms.  "Virge and Gords are on their way back, too, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are."

"And what about Alan? When is he due back?"

"He got back about an hour ago," Grandma said, raising an eyebrow.  "Didn't you notice Thunderbird Three in the hangar?"

Scott rubbed the back of his head, grimacing in embarrassment.  "No, but in my defence, my ‘Bird faces away from it."

"Hmm," Grandma said, looking up as she heard the roar of Thunderbird Two's engines.  "Looks like we're all home."  She looked over at the model sat on the corner of the desk and sighed.  "Well, almost."

Scott put his hand over hers.  "We'll find him," he said.

" _Thunderbird Two to base, we clear to land?_ "

"All clear, Virge," Scott replied after quickly checking.  "Welcome home."

A few minutes later, Virgil and Gordon were both back in the lounge, looking tired but wearing smiles.

"A job well done today," Scott said, grinning at them both.

"The rescues went well, but more importantly, Alan saved John who saved Thunderbird Five," Gordon said, then looked around.  "Where is Alan?"

Virgil frowned slightly.  "Not like him to not be here, he usually likes to hear about the callouts."

Scott glanced at their grandmother.  "Any ideas?"

"He was headed outside," she said.

Scott sighed, shaking his head.  "I'll go and see if he's alright."

Grandma stood up from where she was now sat on one of the leather chairs.  "No, it's alright.  I'll go.  I just need to get something first."

Scott watched her go, then turned to his brothers.  They all exchanged a look and a shrug, then took the opportunity to grab some food while she wasn't in the kitchen to kick them out.

 

Alan sat in amongst the trees near the cliff edge overlooking the runway.  He had his legs pulled close to him and his chin rested on his knees.

This mission had really hit too close to home and it was driving all sorts of what if's around in his head.

Alan was so lost in his thoughts, watching the motion of the waves far below, that he didn't hear footsteps approaching him.

He finally became aware of company when they sat down next to him, taking up a similar posture.  He turned to look and saw his grandma sat next to him, a small item clutched in her hand.

"You alright, kid?" she asked, hugging her legs and looking out over the ocean.

Alan shrugged.

"You're not, are you?" she said, turning to look at him.  She was shocked at the amount of pain she could see in his eyes.  When he was off out gallivanting in Thunderbird Three, being an ace astronaut, it was easy to forget he was just a teenager.  A teenager who'd been through a lot.

She leaned over and put her arm round him.  "You wanna talk about it?" she asked.

Alan looked away from her, then sighed, his gaze dropping to examine the shoelaces of his sneakers.

"If I'd been a few minutes later earlier on, John might have died," he said.  "You and Virgil could have been seriously hurt when you crash landed in London.  Scott was nearly killed in that uranium mine when the line to Thunderbird One had snagged.  Gordon might have drowned in Thunderbird Four when that seaquake had almost buried him.  Kayo nearly died in the desert when Fireflash was hijacked and I couldn't even help her.  Brains and Scott almost crashed in that runaway train the other day.  That space mine…" He shuddered, taking a breath.  Not that he'd ever tell any of the others, but that had worried him.  He'd come so close to being blasted into space dust that day that he occasionally woke in the night.  He shook his head.

Grandma Tracy squeezed his shoulder, pulling him closer briefly.  "It's alright, kid," she said.  "Let it out.  I won't tell anyone."

He looked up at her.  "It's not that I don't want to be in International Rescue, it's not that at all, it's just…" He lowered his gaze.

"You worry about the others.  It's only natural," Grandma said.  "I worry about them, too.  But all the time you're looking out for each other, it'll be alright."

Alan sighed.  "How can it though? How can it be alright when…" He rubbed at his eyes furiously.  "We save all these people and we can't even save our own dad!" he yelled, suddenly.

He shook her arm off and stood up, walking closer to the edge of the cliff to lean against a tree.  He crossed his arms.

Grandma Tracy got up and went over to him, placing a hand gently on his shoulder.  "It's okay to be angry, Alan," she said.  "Yell, shout, scream, do whatever you need! All the time you're letting it out, it'll help.  Keeping it all bottled up inside is what makes it worse."  She looked into his eyes with a knowing glance.  "And, yes, Alan, I do know about those nightmares.  Your room is near mine."

He looked at her and his whole posture seemed to shrink.  His shoulders dropped and his head lowered.  "That day scared me," he admitted in a small voice.

"I'd be worried if it hadn't," Grandma said.  "That was a really scary thing that you did."  She guided him gently to sit back down again.

With a sigh, Alan leaned against her, letting her hug him and letting the tears come this time.

Grandma rubbed his arm briefly, then put the item she'd been holding into his lap.

"What's this?" he asked, wiping his eyes and picking it up.  It was small, about the same size as Scott's old pocket knife, and had a wire protruding from the end which was wrapped around it.

"It's a music player," Grandma said, taking it again and unravelling the wire.  "An mp3 player, actually."

Alan looked at it.  "Okay," he said.  The random item had distracted him and he was starting to calm down.

"It's mine from when I was a little younger than you are now."

"And it still works?" Alan asked, incredulously.

"I'm not that old," Grandma said, with a playful tap on his hand.

Alan smiled slightly.  "Sorry," he said.

"Anyway, I brought this out here because I wanted to show you something.  I thought you might like to hear a song that was important to your dad.  And to your Grandpa."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  This was your Grandpa Tracy's favourite song.  When I told him I was expecting your father, he said the words of this song would be words to live by.  I think he also liked the fact that it was quite a catchy tune.  Songs like this at the time were usually really mushy and slow, but this one was a very happy song."

She handed Alan one of the earbuds and put the other into her own ear.  She switched the device on and scrolled through the list until she found the song she was looking for.

"Ready?" Grandma asked.  Alan nodded.  "Good.  Now, listen to the words."

She hit the play button and the song started to play.

 

_Once upon a younger year,_

_When all our shadows disappear,_

_The animals inside came out to play._

_Went face to face with all our fears,_

_Learned our lessons through the tears,_

_Made memories we knew would never fade._

_One day, my father, he told me_

_‘Son, don't let it slip away,'_

_He took me in his arms, I heard him say,_

_‘When you get older, your wild will live for younger days,_

_Think of me if ever you're afraid.'_

_He said, ‘One day, you'll leave this world behind,_

_So live a life you will remember.'_

_My father told me when I was just a child,_

_‘These are the nights that never die,'_

_My father told me._

_‘When thunder clouds start pouring down,_

_Light a fire they can't put out,_

_Carve your name into those shining stars.'_

_He said, ‘Go venture far beyond these shores,_

_Don't forsake this life of yours,_

_I'll guide you home no matter where you are.'_

_One day, my father, he told me_

_‘Son, don't let it slip away,'_

_When I was just a kid I heard him say_

_‘When you get older, your wild will live for younger days,_

_Think of me if ever you're afraid.'_

_He said, ‘One day, you'll leave this world behind,_

_So live a life you will remember.'_

_My father told me when I was just a child,_

_‘These are the nights that never die,'_

_My father told me._

_‘These are the nights that never die,'_

_My father told me._

 

As the tune finished, Alan pulled the bud from his ear and looked up at his grandmother.  "Dad used to say those things to us," he said, tears in his eyes.

Grandma Tracy smiled at him.  "Because his father said them to him.  And he did live his life by them.  He joined the air force so he could ‘venture far beyond the shores' and became an astronaut so he could ‘carve his name into those shining stars'.  Then he set up International Rescue, I think, so you boys could have your chance.  Those Thunderbirds have definitely ventured and you and John especially have carved your names into the stars alongside your father's."  She brushed some of his soft blond hair away from his eyes.  "And he never once failed to guide you home, no matter where you were."

Alan hugged his grandmother again.  She wrapped her arm around him.  "There's definitely some good advice in that song, Alan.  I know it's easy to get upset that we can't find him, but…" She sighed slightly.  "Have you noticed what Scott does?"

Alan smiled.  "He asks himself what dad would do."

"‘Think of me if ever you're afraid'," she said.

"You mean Scott is probably afraid?"

"Of course he is," Grandma said.  "Everyone gets scared."

Alan smiled at her again.  "Can I listen to it again?" he asked, nestling his head into her shoulder.

Grandma nodded and reselected the song.

"Do we have to go back yet?"

"We can stay out here as long as you want, Alan."

Together, the two Tracy's sat under the tree overlooking the runway, listening to the song and Alan felt his troubles, well, not ebbing away, but at least easing.  He'd always have troubles.  He was a Tracy.  But he knew now that things weren't quite as bad as he'd built them up to be.


End file.
